I'm always apprehensive about revisions. I'm afraid that in changing something I'll shy away from my original purpose. I'm afraid I'll find that my original work isn't actually workable at all. I'm afraid that I'm too attached to the emotional side of my writing that I'll fight myself to get rid of or keep certain parts of my work that aren't essential just for the sake of emotional attachment. And I'm especially afraid that after painstaking revisions that I will still be left with something sub-par. Why am I so afraid?
The feedback I received from the classmates in my group was nothing short of wonderful. They were constructive and very kind. My story was one that they said they wanted to keep reading. But therein is where the problem lies. Right now, it's just a story, whether it's a good read or not does not make it Creative Non-Fiction.
I thought a lot about the focus of my story and how I would turn it into a Creative Non-Fiction essay. It's said that author's typically write about what they know. I said this to myself and thought, "Well, what else do you know besides this story? What can you connect it to that will validate it for the reader?" I thought about self-righteous themes where I was the hero standing up for what I believed in. I thought about finding one's "inner truth" and accepting it. I thought about our reading of "The Patch" and how the author reels us in with his first line about the swirl of the line and it's audibility. How would I catch my readers' attention? Or better yet, WHAT WAS I EVEN REALLY WRITING ABOUT? In my "story", I took a path, somewhat reminiscent of one that Robert Frost may have taken. So was that it? Maybe I should write about animal instinct. How do baby sea turtles always know where to find the sea? And why? But how much did I really know about animal instinct? Enough to incorporate it efficiently into my essay? I'm not sure.
Then I played with some words in my head. I was thinking about "The Patch" and how it sounded like "The Path" which seemed like a relevant title for something I could write based on my story. "The Path" reminded me of a Disney movie, Pocahontas. In the ever familiar movie, Pocahontas' grandfather says to the chief, "She has her mother's spirit; she goes wherever the wind takes her." This, of course, led to a brief period of singing "Just Around the River Bend" to myself, when I realized that a lot of Disney movies are correlated with a strong female character who chooses her own path. Pocahontas disobeys her father and falls in love with John Smith (whether or not that is historically accurate is beside the point). Merida, in the newer Disney movie, Brave, refuses to accept her fate of an arranged marriage. The tagline reads, "If you had the chance to change your fate, would you?" Cinderella changes her fate by disobeying her stepmother and stepsisters. The Little Mermaid changes her appearance and her fate by disobeying her father and following her heart. Belle, in my absolute favorite Disney movie, Beauty and the Beast, doesn't necessarily change her fate, but from the beginning she follows her own path, despite ridicule from everyone around her. And it dawned on me, could my life actually be like a Disney movie? Or are Disney movies more like real life than we care to give them credit for? Life may not be a fairy tale, but can fairy tales be about life? I think they can and I think they are.
Were I to revise this essay to become an actual work of Creative Non-Fiction, I would show my readers through my own story and it's parallels to Disney movies the importance of standing up for what you believe in despite opposition and ridicule and following your own path.
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